These days my voice sounds like a mix between Forrest Gump and a robot. If I’m not careful my voice will remain like this permanently.
This is the result of having taught English as a foreign language for six months now. Speaking like a normal person will invariably confuse the students, so for them I’ve learned to SLOOOOOW it down. But with my return to the States looming and a possible venture back into journalism, I’m worried I won’t be able to undo it.
It’s gotten to a point where even my thinking voice speaks like this — which, for the sake of example, sounds like something like this:
“Thee fo-toe-graph sits on top of thee man-tool.”
Translation: The photograph sits on top of the mantle.
I worry also that when I return and see an Asian face, I’ll revert to this voice, in an Alzheimer’s-esque fit, thinking I’m back in Korea.
The “Asian face” will inevitably find this patronizing, and I could find myself going the way of Alexandra Wallace.